Finding Connection in the World - Offline
In a world where the internet has an inescapable presence in our daily lives, have you ever imagined life offline?
It’s this question that has led me to explore what impact an online world has on our mental health, on our personal and professional wellbeing.
As a loyal Arsenal supporter, I have been hooked on football since I was 10 years old. I can remember when the latest transfer news first broke on Teletext and Match of the Day was a must watch for the weekends’ highlights. My obsession with the beautiful game has run in correlation with the speed of broadband and data on our phones, to my wife's dismay, I can keep up to date with the latest news and scores every minute of the day.
The communication revolution of social media, video and messaging apps has become an essential part of our lives. We can speak to friends and relatives all over the world and live hundreds of miles away from the office. We can consume content on-demand and in huge quantities; a never ending carousel of films and TV shows for every taste and preference.
Over lunch, a group of us at a coworking space posed the question whether the internet is a net positive or negative in our lives. We picked apart the aspects we would keep and elements we could live without. We reminisced about Glastonbury without smartphones and a time before online dating and hook-up apps.
Photo via Ververidis Vasilis.
As I reflected on the changing dynamics of experiences like Glastonbury and dating, it sparked an intriguing question: If presented with the choice between two parallel universes—one with the internet and the other without—which path would we ultimately choose?
Pop the red pill and we leave behind our emails and messaging apps in favour of a paper, pen and the humble postman.
Like going back in time, imagine pulling out that A - Z, Yellow Pages and contact book littered with doodles drawn around lists of former colleagues and friendly folk you met on holiday. Trips down Blockbuster, a Friday night staple before rifling through the drawer for the menu of your local Chinese take-away.
In my 30’s, I can still remember a home without wifi or a computer, when mobile phones were simple and communication limited. During long summer holidays as a child, I called landlines and knocked on doors hoping to find someone to come out and play. I still remember the first time I heard the phrase ‘let me Google it’.
One thing is for sure, life would slow down again. Conversations over the phone or in person, deals dependent on a firm handshake and eye contact. Life experienced live and in person, retold by word and mouth, newspaper print and biographies.
Those were ‘the good ole days’ but has it really got that bad?
“Every new technology goes through a phase of euphoria, followed by a phase of retrenchment.”
Hal Varian, Chief Economist at Google Pew Research Centre paints a dreary parallel between the car and the internet.
He continues:
“Automobiles were a fantastic replacement for horses, but as their numbers increased it became clear that they had their own health and cleanliness issues. The same is true of the internet.”
Now that we have become accustomed and oftentimes, reliant on the internet, we are only just coming to terms with the detrimental effects it has on our mental health. Social Media encourages constant comparison, and in turn spiral negative thoughts. It’s easy to lose sight of what really matters when your mate from school posts another selfie ‘killing it in Dubai’.
The fact is, soon enough nobody will remember a time before the internet. Much like how nobody is old enough to remember first hand a world before the automobile. The parallels don’t stop there as both are seen as symbols of freedom and tools for exploration.
The internet has given our professional lives a brand new sense of freedom and flexibility as well. We’re able to work from home, functioning as digital nomads, and even some, who I like to call beach CEO’s, running global empires from an inflatable raft in Bali.
The pretence of freedom is caveated by the fact it’s difficult to step away from the emails when there’s no one to come in and turn off the lights or the social pull of after work drinks.
The pandemic brought remote working into hyperdrive and businesses have discovered new ways of working, while accentuating our innate need for in-person connection; a walk in the park or a chat over the garden fence.
Perhaps it’s no coincidence that firms are calling employees back into the office. The traditional culture of businesses misses the ‘toss the ball around space’ in search of new ideas, water cooler conversions and animated debates lacking on a zoom call.
“They connect us to other people, but they create distance too. Our phones tempt us into ignoring our families and friends, even when they’re in the same room as us, in favour of a continuous IV drip of atomized bits of information and anonymous near-strangers in faraway cities. Maybe they’re not giving us the kind of connections we need.”
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Our personal lives have also been affected. While our friendship circles grow, connections have become increasingly tenuous, the facade of authentic community stretched thin.
“If you’re doom scrolling at night, it tends to be because you’re feeling lonely and disconnected. In the morning, it tends to be about procrastination – delaying starting your day.”
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Recently, I have been asking myself how I can make changes to my own internet diet. How can I find a better balance between being online and unplugged and to what effect will this have on my work, family and social life. Some simple disciplines could include:
Read a book as the last thing you do before going to bed
Rather than ‘doom scrolling’ as the last thing I do before I sleep, I can place my phone out of reach and grab that book I’ve been needing to finish. Even just a few pages can help remove stress, disengage the mind and help you fall asleep.
15 minutes of your commute offline. Headphones off.
Look out of the window. Ear drop conversations. Listen to the hum of the train. Give your ears a break from podcasts and keep your eyes from the temptation of opening work emails.
Toilet breaks well… for using the toilet and not scrolling through social media
I remember before I got a smartphone, a moment on the loo was where my mind wondered, where I solved creative problems and quietly put things in perspective.
I’m reminded of the two-thousands comedy Scrubs, where a loo on the roof is called ‘Epiphany Toilet’ after a doctor finds a breakthrough on how to treat a patient after a few moments sitting on the porcelain throne.
The phone will live in the other room while home with the children
This is a personal one. Perhaps I don’t want to be known as the dad who was glued to his phone rather than engaging with his children. It’s difficult but not impossible for me to be present when my sons are showing me how high they can jump for the 50th time.
Human beings want and need connection, the internet is the ultimate connection machine…. I have to feel confident that we can continue to gain fulfilment from these human connections.
Could by ‘cutting yourself off’ mean being more present, and by restricting access to the internet make us more productive? Perhaps and ultimately, could disconnecting make us better connected?
It is possible to opt into the reality in front of us rather than the digital fomo in our pockets. What if we only used the internet as a tool to bring our friends and family closer, creating meaningful connections with the people we hold dearest live and in person?
So, if push came to shove, would I choose to rewind the clock and live life life without the internet? Probably not, even though sometimes I do feel I need a break. What do you think? What would you choose, the red pill or the blue?
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